Two Hands

I was feeling down about my size, how I am not as good at losing weight as I'd like to be, wishing I was smaller, and various other negative thoughts about myself. THEN, I was getting ready to go to a Women's Meeting and was working out what to wear when I tried on a skirt I haven't worn in a long time. It ended up going well with the blouse I wanted to wear, plus it fit really well, so it won out and the outfit was chosen. About that time I realized I got that skirt when I was in college. Yes, in college.

On one hand I was thrilled and thought "Wow! I am wearing comfortably a skirt I got 13 years ago! I am proud of myself!" On the OTHER hand, I was thinking "What? I was this big in college?"

There are TWO hands I am trying to bring together in a nice little balance.

ONE hand says - I am doing GREAT! I am a great mom and wife! I work out hard and live a healthy life! I am a daughter of God and have divine qualities and potential! I LOVE my life and wouldn't change it or anything about it for the world!!! I am awesome and am ENOUGH!

the OTHER hand says - I have got to work harder! I have 15 extra pounds to LOSE! I need to eat LESS!! I want to be a faster and better runner! I have SO much to work on as a mother and wife! I need to be a better friend! I am NOTHING with out God!

SEEEEEE!!!!????

These two hands must, come together and find balance. Some days I listen to the 'I'm good' voice and eat a little too much and I feel so great about life. Other days I listen to the 'work harder' voice and think about how I gotta do better and lose more weight and eat less...on and on.

I am exploring ways I can help these two hands (or rather internal voices) in my life become ONE. One in purpose and strength. It is a journey.

Thanks girls for the motivation and encouragement. I may not win this competition, but I AM winning when I strive to be a BETTER ME.